So I walked in. And do you know somebody had taken and made all these forts all over this big ol’ room? Big forts, little forts, medium forts, and I don’t know what all, and I looked in one of ’em and saw big ol’ pieces of cloth as pretty as you’ve ever seen hanging on the wall. So I ask the fella, “what is it y’all are a-doing?” And he says, “These are our FR” – whatever that is – “solution-dyed fabrics for longevity that feature a pro … a propi … a proprietary wicking finish,” I think he said, but I had no idea what he was talking about.

 

So I moseyed on over to another fort and they had this robot that looked like something out of Lost in Space. Except this little fella was picking up these bundles of thread and putting them directly inside a tube like nobody’s business. And I said, “Well, ain’t that something?” If I hadn’t seen it with my own eyes, I wouldn’t have believed it.

 

Another large fort caught my eye with a big crowd standing around, so I went to take a peek. And this machine was printing pretty little teddy bears up and down this piece of ribbon. The fella was telling a lady, “the modular inkjet printing system is extremely flexible and can process any fabric from lightweight silk to heavy terry.” And I nodded my head right along with the lady as though I knew what it was he was saying.

 

Before long, I found myself standing there staring at these neat little spools of thread that looked like pyramids all lined up in a row and stacked on top of one other. I was thinking that my granny would’ve been in heaven in there with all that sewing thread.

 

Finally, I asked a dressed-up man where it was that I was and he says, “Friend, this is a textile exhibition.” And I said, “Well, I’ll be darn.” Now, I don’t know what textiles is exactly, but apparently it draws a crowd of friendly folks who are anxious to tell you what it is they are doing. And they are doing some mighty fine things and making some mighty fine stuff – mighty fine.

 

Well, pretty soon one of those official-looking young ladies came up to me and says, “Sir, you’re going to have to leave because you don’t have a badge.” And I says, “Well, all right,” and I walked out and followed the signs to the exit door.

 

Frankly, It was the most interesting thing I’ve ever seen in my life. All that thread and yarn and all those fancy machines, colorful cloth and pretty ribbon. I don’t think the Braves game will be half as fun.

 

By the way, where’d you get that badge? I’m going to bring my buddies back tomorrow.